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Paul Daugherty
Enquirer columnist files news and observations

Paul Daugherty
Paul Daugherty has been an Enquirer sports columnist since 1994 and has been chronicling Cincinnati sports since 1988. He has covered almost every major sporting event in America, as well as five Summer Olympics. Along the way, he has been named one of the country's top-5 sports columnists four times, and Ohio columnist of the year on seven different occasions. Last year, he was voted 2nd-best sports columnist in the country, by the Associated Press Sports Editors.

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Saturday, August 19, 2006

the dog ate my homework

Marion Jones flunked a drug test in June, at the US Track and Field Championships. Since nobody especially cares about track and field except a few weeks every 4 years, that's a big so-what? Here's what's not. Here's what's going to be entertaining, should Jones' 2nd test -- the so-called "B Sample'' -- comes up positive, confirming beyond a reasonable doubt to reasonable people, that she doped:

The denials. The excuses. That's what's potentially hilarious.

Floyd Landis, the bike-jock who won the tour de France thanks to an elevated testosterone level that would be the envy of George Clooney, said the high count was due to (pick one or all or a few): thyroid meds, cortisone shots, dehydration, Jack Daniel's, unfair testing or simply that he was just, you know, unbelievably virile. Let's call that last one the I'm A Man Dammit defense. The off-the-chart testosterone level was "produced by my own organism,'' Floyd said.

Gotta get me some of that organism.

That follows a few years of belly-laugh whoppers: Flaxseed oil, sex before a race, an evil masseuse... the best one was from cyclist Tyler Hamilton, who explained that he had someone else's blood in his veins because his twin had passed some of his blood to Tyler in utero.

Stay tuned. Marion's B Sample comes back in a few weeks.


3 Comments:

at 10:05 PM Anonymous Anonymous said...

What's amazing about Marion Jones' case is that this is a person who has been linked to BALCO, was married to a doper, and had a child with another, yet STILL thought she could get away with cheating.

 
at 8:01 AM Anonymous Anonymous said...

OK, I think we are starting to see why Americans have been dominating the world in sports ... we have an awful lot of cheaters. We have cheaters in baseball, football, track & field, cycling .... and the list goes on.

 
at 6:11 PM Anonymous Anonymous said...

They all lie, and they lie so much that we have come to expect them to lie. They must think that we believe them, but we really just don't care. Bonds and his trainer are lying, as did McGuire, Sosa and Palmeiro. Landis and armstrong are big liars too. All of Lance's peers were on steroids, and he was too. (retire on top, my A$$).
They lie about gambling, injuries, money, cheating, etc. Bottom line, they all lie .... a lot.

 
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