little marcus

I'd love to see a local athlete do a public service announcement on the need for proper screening when it comes to finding foster parents for kids. I don't know of any local jocks raised in that environment.Maybe you do. We need somebody to say something on behalf of Marcus Fiesel. Live big. Hug your kids.

we dont need no stinkin sports

How 'bout Farrah's hair at the Emmys? Anyone tell her it's not 1975? The only thing better than honoring an old schlock-meister like Aaron Spelling was having the 3 original Angels doing the honoring... somehow, none thanked her plastic surgeon, even though Kate Jackson's face was stretched like leather on a football...and c'mon, what was Candice Bergen thinking? I didnt know they had thrift shops in Hollywood...

Ah, but Virginia Madsen...oh, my.

I've always thought this, and last night proved it: Barry Manilow is an alien.

nice that 24 won, but after 5 years of saving the world, I thought it was running out of gas last season...

Don't like Entourage, won't miss Deadwood, after Sopranos is done next spring, HBO comes off the TV bill...

And while I'm at it, Rescue Me has been a big disappointment this year. Its first-season edge has been replaced by soap opera storylines. Enough with the relationship stuff. I didn't watch Sex and the City the first time it was on. When does The Shield come back?

I thought Cirque du Soleil was a chick thing. Then I saw it. Amazing, athletic, moving, worthwhile. Ballet on acid. These people make mainstream jocks look like Peewee Herman. It's here thru the middle of the month. I recommend it.

Glad to see the Cardinals' .175 hitting catcher came through. Two games in a row. Live big, Jason LaRue. Elsewhere.

negative sports illustrated reds note of the week

While praising Reds GM Wayne Krivsky, SI.com writer Jon Heyman still thinks Mets' GM Omar Minaya is NL exec of the year. Tell me again: How much $ is Omar playing with? He acquires Pedro, Glavine, Beltran and Delgado and that makes him...smart? Sorry, no sale... SI picked the Reds to finish last, picked them at the All Star Break to be the first contender to fade, then decided they had too many old players to stay in it in september... SI's wild card pick was, uh, Colorado.

I'm sure I make too much of this, partly because I worked there for awhile and I know how those people think. But in New York, if it doesnt involve New York, it basically doesnt exist. Thats true for SI, the papers and ESPN, radio and TV... it's all Yankees, Red Sox, Mets, all the time... it's nice to see them try to make up for their myopia, but it's a little late.

The Bad Boy

Lots of response from my newspaper column today, 8/23, re the firing of Steve Stewart. Surprisingly, almost all of it was positive and complimentary of Stewart's approach. There is a chance he will be included in the FoxSports mix next year, when the Reds are on TV 145 times. I know he likes living here, has just enrolled his son in school here and wants to stay. Here's hoping a classy pro gets his wish. And it was the Houston radio guys who ragged my lack of baseball savvy in April, when I wrote the Reds only competition would be St. Louis. I will be seeing them today. As it is, the Reds main competition now is themselves. No reason they shouldnt bypass the Cards in the next week to 10 days. Live big, Steve Stewart.

reds win the pennant

Memo to the Astros radio announcers, who in April decided on air that I was an idiot for writing the Reds' only competition would be the Cardinals: I'll take that apology now. They attributed their beliefs to a few of my unnamed colleagues in the press box who, they said, told them I knew nothing about baseball.

Ignorance is bliss. So is being right.

Don't look now, but the Mets starting rotation makes Cincinnati's look formidable. Tom Glavine has 1 win in his last 10 starts and could be out for the year; Pedro has made 4 starts since June 28 and is out now. All the sudden, who besides LA looks better than the Reds? Of course, nothing is guaranteed in the terrible NL. But none of the other wild card contenders have shown Cincinnati's resiliency. And would all the Narron-bashers out there give it a rest? Managers set tones; that's more important than pulling pitchers or switching lineups. Anyone have a problem with the tone being set in the home clubhouse?

the dog ate my homework

Marion Jones flunked a drug test in June, at the US Track and Field Championships. Since nobody especially cares about track and field except a few weeks every 4 years, that's a big so-what? Here's what's not. Here's what's going to be entertaining, should Jones' 2nd test -- the so-called "B Sample'' -- comes up positive, confirming beyond a reasonable doubt to reasonable people, that she doped:

The denials. The excuses. That's what's potentially hilarious.

Floyd Landis, the bike-jock who won the tour de France thanks to an elevated testosterone level that would be the envy of George Clooney, said the high count was due to (pick one or all or a few): thyroid meds, cortisone shots, dehydration, Jack Daniel's, unfair testing or simply that he was just, you know, unbelievably virile. Let's call that last one the I'm A Man Dammit defense. The off-the-chart testosterone level was "produced by my own organism,'' Floyd said.

Gotta get me some of that organism.

That follows a few years of belly-laugh whoppers: Flaxseed oil, sex before a race, an evil masseuse... the best one was from cyclist Tyler Hamilton, who explained that he had someone else's blood in his veins because his twin had passed some of his blood to Tyler in utero.

Stay tuned. Marion's B Sample comes back in a few weeks.

back from heaven

Short attention span's guide to everything:
If you've never been to the western NC mountains, go. Just got back from 3 days there. Hiking, boating, fishing, wandering. Asheville, best little city nobody goes to. On second thought, keep going to Myrtle Beach.

Stop ripping Narron. He's had 2 owners and 3 GMs. Krivsky, bless him, marches players in and out like it's Open Mic Night. There is something to be said for stability and players knowing their roles and a manager who doesnt have to work in playing time for the newest new guy every other day. Besides, few thought the Reds would be in the hunt this late.

Few thought the NL would be drop-dead awful, either. But that's another story.

Keep Carson on the bench until everyone is satisfied he's ready. You're talking about a game. You should be talking about a potential Hall of Fame career. If it takes 4 games and a bye week to get him back, so be it.

Move Griffey from 3rd to 6th and from center to right. This isn't genius, but it would take some, um, courage. Don't hold your breath.

David Pollack to me, on baseball: "You enjoy watching paint dry? I went to a Reds game when the Braves were here. Met John Smoltz, stayed an inning and a half. I have ADD. Baseball makes me squirm.''

Sean Salisbury of ESPN thinks the Bengals will be the surprise flop of the year. I think the defense will be the surprise, and it won't flop.

The radio was polling fans whether they liked college football or the NFL. To me, it's not even an issue. If you like pomp, circumstance and shirtless undergrads watching blowouts, you like college. If you prefer football at its best, you like the NFL. Live big. On Sundays.

maurice clarett is not :"sad''

He is willfully stupid, pathetic and scary. He has taken gifts that the rest of us would love to have and flushed them. He has been a jerk every step of the way, beginning the day in arizona when, 3 days before the biggest game of his team's season -- and for many of those guys, the biggest day of their lives -- he whined about not being allowed to attend a friend's funeral. He said Jim Tressel knew about his free car, he became a menace to society. He was given a chance by the Broncos and blew it. He chose all this. There is nothing even remotely sad about Maurice Clarett. What's sad is that we persist in believing it's sad.

maurice clarett is not "sad''

wayne and jim, america's new fun couple

30-second guide to Krivsky v. Bowden:

If you're dealing with Bodes, keep both hands on your wallet.

Strictly speaking, Bowden/Nationals were under no obligation to inform Reds of Majewski's recent cortisone shot. Ethically, they might have mentioned it.

Is Baseball ethical?

It was Cincinnati's responsibility to be as thorough medically as possible. Knowing Bowden's rep and Majewski's run of many pitches in the last year and a half, that should have been a no-brainer.

This is all Bowden's fault only if you believe all used car dealers are honest, and that car you bought out of the paper really was only driven by an old lady to church.

Will it hurt Bowden in the long run more than Krivsky and the Reds?
Oh, yeah. It's hard to trade with people who don't like you or trust you.

Brett Wetterich's family invited me to his golf outing next Monday, at his request. Nice gesture from a West Side guy who's currently got the points to be on the Ryder Cup team. That's why I love the West Side.

I'm going to see Talladega Nights Thursday, with Sam Hornish Jr., Indy 500 champ. Another regular jock.

Steinbach's BUI charge: Mother, make it stop. The Bengals have land and sea covered. All they need now is a bust on a team charter, and they'll have the globe blanketed in legal junk. Maybe someone won't turn off his Game Boy during takeoff.

Live big. Legally.

rock and roll part 2

Has it occurred to anyone else that hitters are starting to time B.Arroyo's changeup because they know it's coming and he hasnt done a very good job mixing his pitches? It's almost like he's a new hitter and he's gone around the league once. The book has been written. That's wa-a-a-y inside baseball for me, but watching him the last time he pitched, the thought occurred...

Negative Cincy Note of the week, from SI: The misdeeds of the Bengals are noted in a chart, side by side with the Chicago Bears' aspiring criminals. Allegedly. Chris Henry, last in SI for housing his family post-Katrina, now is in there for being a slap. The mag does note that at least 25 players from 17 different NFL teams were arrested in the offseason. Stupidity loves company.

The crowds keep growing at Bengals training camp. I know of one family spending their vacation in Georgetown. Seriously. And it is amazing how long Carson Palmer spends signing autographs in the miserable heat, after practice. Wednesday, he must have stood for 20 minutes. It also makes you wonder how many of these fans would be down there if the Bengals had a no-autograph policy. As it is, they have a container filled with Sharpies, which camp minions distribute to players as they jog off the field. Very nice and should be noted by the other pro sports team in town.

The best thing about owning a few million CDs is, occasionally, you rediscover one that sounds as fine as the day you bought/burned it. I'm listening to the Stones in the car today -- Get Yer Ya-Ya's Out. One of the best live rock albums ever made. Jumping Jack Flash, Carol, Sympathy for the Devil. Fabulous. Live big. It's a gas.