Deer Ate My House
Is it just me, or does anyone else have a deer issue this year? I see them in the yard, I see them in the woods behind the house, I see them in the street, I see them in the produce aisle at Kroger, thumping cantalopes. I see them so much, I feel I should invite them in, to pound a few V8s.
Last summer, they dined on several thousand dollars worth of new shrubbery in my front yard. Hydrangeas, mostly. Just when I'd gone Caddyshack Carl on the moles (and chased them into the neighbor's yard, heh-heh) the damned deer come in and Agent-Orange my plants.
I hate deer.
What do you do? Beyond "harvesting'' them, I mean. They are pretty and really, venison is kinda gamey, you know? Does the stuff you buy at Home Depot work? Do you have a home remedy? I send my golden retriever out to chase them, and they don't move. I open the front door and yell, they laugh, or whatever it is deer do when they find something amusing.
No respect for property. None at all. I mean, I'm not out stomping their woods, eating tree bark and stuff. Anyway, remedies other than the Final Solution are welcome.
posted by Paul Daugherty at 1:33 PM
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Post a Comment*My neighbor serves venison on a regular basis and it certainly isn't gamey. Sometimes tastes like a good, though lean, steak marinated in red wine though. Maybe it's the chef.
On the other note, my uncle says the repellent called "This one works!" actually does. He's a gardener who lives in the woods and has tried everything including "marking" the territory with his own scent - if you know what I mean.
Put out a tape recorder or cd player set on auto replay. Add soundtrack of little Billy Cunningham show. After a couple days of that either you or the deer will leave. Possibly both.
Robert Young
Milford
You didn't mention your locality or the type or size of your property.
If they are coming in through your back yard, you could try fencing that off. It might discourage them from entering your property.
I wonder if a salt-lick strategically placed *away* from your house would attract them to a *different* area.
Be careful if you attempt a "Final Solution".
A few weeks ago in Western Hills, I was driving through a suburban neighborhood at around 11 pm. I saw two groups of deer run across the road in front of my car. One group of four ran out ahead of me and then another group of five after that. I couldn't believe I saw that many deer in a fairly suburban neighborhood.
Well, in "The Rookie" they use human hair on the baseball field to keep the deer from eating the outfield. It worked in that movie. Whether or not that is based on a real technique is beyond me.
I don't think there is a real solution. All the stuff you hear falls into the category of wives tales. What is odd is these hooved felons have no fear at all of humans.
Get a Dog.
Paul,
have a few extra cans of Keystone Light and leave ample quantities of your "sign" around the yard. You might want to do this after dark as I don't what your neighbors are like.
I have not tried this myself, but I heard it does work, and if it doesn't - you won't care anymore.
@Jeff
I can't believe I didn't recall that!
The Rookie is one of the best baseball movies. If it's in there, it *must* be true!
I guess it's time for a hair cut.
Just wanted to say I liked the Lavender article. I don't always see eye to eye with you on some issues (Chad Johnson, etc.), and I'm sure not everyone will agree with you on this one... but just thought it was a thought provoking article. I appreciate that you gave Xavier a voice in the article and were critical without being unreasonable. Nice job.
Deer jerky is delicious (hint hint) get your self a dehidrator and cap a buck or two. In all seriousness though, the only thing that i have found that works is if you do have something to give them a good old bruise in the behind. one pump of an airsoft gun can piss them off or keep them cautious. they mess with you so you mess with them. Hey, me personally, i think it doesnt get worse than racoons. chipmunks are pretty bad too. see if you can get one of Micheal Vicks dogs and let one of those bad boys loose. (wow, that was funny until i typed it) Deer suck, although i will have to say that we did wreck their homes to build ours but that doesnt stop them from sucking. You know what, forget it, there is no hope. AAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!
CARSON PALMER WILL BE MVP (HE WILLLLL)
Mike from I HATE DEEEEERRRRRRRR! AAAAAHHHHHHHHH, NOTHING WORKS, THOSE STUPID, (explitive, explitive) YARD RUINERSSSSSSS!!!!! AHHHH!!! (sorry)
BLACKTOP. You just blacktop your yard and paint it green. Deer don't like walking on hot, steamy blacktop. Eliminates grass cutting too and cuts down on bugs.
Paul, as a disclaimer my dad just turned 63 so he's become a bit senile in his advanced years....but he swears by his deer tactic. My parent's house in Loveland juts up against the woods and we've had deer problems for years, salt licks have never worked. One of my dad's buddies told him human urine does the trick. Your choice on how to get it on the flowers, but my dad prefers to apply directly when it's dark outside. You should see how beautiful his flowers are. I only wish I could have made this up.
Well, if you want a scientific answer, the more that farmland and forest land is developed into suburban housing, the less square mileage deer have to roam and eat and do whatever they do, so they start showing up in yards like yours.
Could be worse; people on the outskirts of Austin are losing dogs and cats to coyote.
So, long story short, it's not so much that they decided to infringe on your property, it's that we're infringing on theirs.
Solution: extend hunting season or increase the total that hunters are allowed to kill. Deer hunting is more or less harvesting.
Paul-
It's your not-that-good-at-golf friend:
Send Walt Jockety after them.
I'm sure he does something, but I haven't found out from ANYBODY exactly what.
What's his long title again?
I used to work at a gun range in town and saw dear on a number of occasions grazing comfortably in the woods off to the side as people shot skeet. We have some grizzled veteren dear here in Cincy. They're like Scott Hatterberg...they're saavy and they don't feel too much pressure to move quickly. If someone discharging a firearm is not enought to spook them away...you could have a long road.
Living in the country the way I do, I always call on our venerable, local exterminators, Winchester and Remington.
FWIW, Deer Jerky is virtually fat-free, very tasty, melt in your mouth, and not gamey at all. (In fact, since deer hunting is sport, and you are a sports journalist, and you have annoying deer, an article commending the "harvest" would be one way to get even, wouldn't it?)
I've used those commercial deer sprays before and they keep the deer away, but they absolutely stink.
They're a mix of blood and chemicals and some manure-type stuff and the smell just doesn't go away for days.
it does work on the deer though.
Human hair works as well, but you need quite a bit of it strung over the plants.
One word. RIFLE
The golden retriever Paul mentions falls under the "dog" category.
I have two dogs and they don't keep deer away. They ate all my wife's vegetable garden - now its only peppers and tomatoes, they don't seem too fond of either.
Get some tobasco sauce and mix it with water but keep it strong! Then spray it on your plants. I have had luck with this tactic in the past.
Mothballs.
A good landscaper will take deer intrusion into account when suggesting plant selection and placement. There are plenty of nice plants that deer won't touch. If they done so much damage you've got to start over make sure you tell the landscaper about the deer.
Paul: Yes, the deer are a huge problem - both when you raked my yard in Mt Lookout some years ago, and also when I moved to Mt Washington and backed up to a horse farm, pond, and woods. They would have conferences in the middle of the street at dusk...eight of them at a time!! Cayenne pepper, tabasco, alot of water, and a little bit of oil (cheap cooking variety) to bind it all together will sometimes work. But after a heavy rain, another application is necessary. Good luck!! The deer ate my rose bushes (thorns and all), hydrangeas, tulips, crocus, and some very lovely mandevilla and passion flower vines. Thought for this fall..............plant alot of daffodils...............deer will not bother them.
I did solve my deer situation.............I moved to Michigan..............no deer (though they are close by,) but I did shovel 100 inches of snow this winter!!!!
Anyone else have 5:44's problem of deer eating roses.
I planted some new roses last year; if they take them out ... it's going to be war!
Kilroy - Think about it...how long would it take to catch that many male moths? Also, could you stand to hear all the tiny screams from them while you gather what you need to rid Daugherty's yard of the Deer?
I say go with the idea from the Cheviot Sports Authority.
You're in THEIR habitat,not the other way around.Don't like it!Move to Over-the-rhine and dodge bullets.My guess is you will quickly miss the deer!
Paul, it is a well known fact that most deer do not like the movie Bambi, for obvious reasons. I've had repeated succcess with strategically placing a number of television sets throughout my yard, using video cables and splitters to broadcast the Bambi dvd signal in loop mode to all the TV sets. As an added plus, I play Raid® commercials in the summer when the mosquitoes start becoming a problem. Just trying to help out.
PPITH
Take the rilfe that you aimed at your neighbor's light (remember?) and adjust your aim.
Goodbye Bambi !!
520... maybe i'll just go get me a mountain lion instead
Move downtown.
hey Paul it may seem like a simple fix but it works for theroses when they try to eat them. What you do is take fishing line and et up a basic "trip" wire about 1 foot away from the plant and 6 inches off the ground. The deer will walk up to the plant feel the fishing line and will not go any farther.
Just noticed this topic, and the irony is jut this morning I noticed the damn deer had returned to my backyard, where they first appeared last fall, to start chewing on my well trimed, well placed 25 year old honeysuckle, which I use to block out an obnoxious and nosy neighbor's lights and vision. "They've stripped most of the bark off. Rosemary just laughs at me, oblivious to their malevolent ways. I live within shouting distance of urban deer heaven, aka Mt. Airy Forest, and those rotten SOBs have taken to leaping my privacy fence, which I built with my bare homo sapiens hands, tromping across my deck...clatter clatter... and going down my steps into my fenced in back yard just to chew on the lousy dammed honeysuckle. While undoubtably laughing at me, and prancing about superiorly. Bastards, all.
I'm thinking some speakers on the house with Elmer Fudd muttering to himself between shot gun blasts. They'll either scare or better yet laugh themselves to death. Or how about this legal method, which would legally practice deer elimination and your 3 or 4 iron shots at the same time. You could improve your game while improving your yard. See if those suckers like being plunked in the behind by a golf ball. I got beaned once by some dumb sob on the golf course when I was a kid, and leet me tell you it's no fun. The guy drove up, demanded I tell him where his ball was, and drove off. Former champ at a public course in NKy in the 60s, no less. Takes all kinds to beat all. But I digress.....
What I hate even worse are squirrels. They are basically licensed to steal. Every year they take one bite out of my 200 beautiful pears and throw the dern carcass on the driveway. Pretty good arms, actually. Some ACLU squirrel sure got sweetheart legislation passed in most cities around, being protected and all in the urban environment. And would someone please tell me why they star in children's books? A friend called them rats with tails one time, and I was offended until they burrowed into my box gutter and nested. Ugh. Man do they love to get in houses.
There's reason somebody came up with the word "varmits". OH and the hot pepper spray does work. I like to see their faces when they run off. Priceless.
Great story oldtimer! What was it again?
Over in Ft. Thomas they are letting people come in and kill the deer in a suburban enviroment. I know they got a bunch this fall, but they also got a lot of grief as well over the errant shots and deer running around with arrows stuck in their side.
I'll take the lost vegitation rather than some fool with an arrow and a bad shot.
Family project: create a "scaredeer." Doris Scaredeer is a cajun fortune teller who levitates above a bed of daylilies and such in my garden that the Mt Ariy deer find particularly tastey. She casts a spell on them and they go elsewhere.
What makes Doris especially effective is her garb-- every item fuzzy, shiney, glittery, things deer do not like.
Find a long, forked stick (forks=legs) and tie it to a straight stick (arms). I pulled apart a handful of hanging basket liner (that brown matted material) and attached it as hair. Her hair is adorned with lots of shiney junk in the "never wear it anymore" basket of hair items. I dressed Doris in shiny pj bottoms, belt made of tin-foil, a bright yellow shirt under a very fuzzy red sleeveless sweater, and donned her with all sorts of mardi gras beads. I also tied some old large shiney Christmas tree ornaments to some twine and dangled these from Doris' arms. They make a nice tinkling sound in the breeze.
As I said, Doris does a good job, in creating her I got rib of some junk in the house, and she's quite the conversation piece. Doris husband, Billy Bob, is on his way up from Louisiana next weekend to give her a hand (need someone to protect the tulips). Bob is a good old southern boy and he may be toting a shotgun.
Have fun!
Ok, Paul, try this, it should work. Paint an end zone line in front of your shrubs. Then paint a Bengals Logo between the shrubs and the end zone line. The deer will never make it into your end zone when it counts. Your shrubs should be safe until next year (remember, it's always next year) or you could hire Chris Henry to guard your shrubs. I hear he is looking for work and he has his own guns.
Whats the difference if the deer eat the plants or if Chris Henry steals them?
St CSA
8:44 >> "best post of the blog" award to you , good one!
"No respect for property. None at all. I mean, I'm not out stomping their woods, eating tree bark and stuff."
Actually I would have to assume that you "stomp around" their land everytime you walk outside, They were there first ya know.
try a salt lick... it works for my girlfriend's house pretty well
Paul. Maybe it wasn't Dave Shula's time. Before comming here he was Off. Cood. for the 1-13 Dallas Cowboys, under Jimmy Johnson, and he's no slouch as a coach. If he was that valuable Johnson would have kept him. Then the Player from the Giants Kerry ? his last name escapes me. Played for the Bengals and wrote childrens books, patted him on the head as he came off the field like a little kid, on national TV. The only reason he got the job was because of the Don Shula/Brown family relationship, and he was cheap to hire. Plus they thought some of Don's genius would rub off him. and last but not least, he was a mercy 1 yr draft pick for thew indianapolis colts. Brother Mike had it a little better. The talent to be a starter for Univ of Alabama, and staying in the college ranks to pay his coaching dues. Alabama even hired him, but then pushed him out when he started losing. Were you hard on him? Maybe, but he chose the profession and he knew he was not ready for it. the only 2 recent hires such as Oakland's coach/Pittsburg's coach have paid their dues. Kiffin is still struggling, and Al Davis tried to push him out, Pittsburg's coach did make the playoffs. The jury is still out on theses guys. The coaches need to be respected. Players are like sharks, they smell blood and go for it. Dave Shula was handed the opportunity but did not have the respect his DAD did. Today he might have a better chance, and that's streching it. Marvins first test was Corey Dillon, after he left here no problems. Chad will be the same way when he goes to a real football team, and not a Stepford team. What would New England or Dallas , or San Deigo do for Chad. A whole lot. Pickens/Dillon got their way, why not Chad? Oh yeah when The ex-Giants player patted Shula on the head he was immediately cut the next week. And he had a Super bowl run with the Giants before comming here, and a long career.
In closing It was not all Dave Shula's fault. Mike Brown thru him to the wolves. Thank god Dad had steak Houses to be managed.
Please reply.
P.S. Oakland=Lane Kiffin- PittsBurg=Mike Conlin. Kiffin had USC as Off Cood/Talent. even USC 's present coach failed in the NFL. Conlin had college and NFL Minnesota defernse experience, and the NFL coaching clinics for minority's. Kiffin is also Monte Kiffin's son. Top Defensive Cood.
Dave could not hope to match these guys with that experience. he was doomed for failure.
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