you wanna super-size that?
It's Friday, time to lighten up. (Notice I said light"en'' up, Bengals. Not light up. Lord, please give us a few weeks between arrests, to reload our outrage.) I'm at a restaurant a few days ago and the server says what most servers say now: "I'm Mortimer, and I'll be taking care of you tonight.'' Anybody else hate that?
You're not taking care of me. You're bringing me food. You wanna Take Care of me? You don't have the time. You wanna pay my mortgage, make my coffee, wash my dog, swat my kids, fix my brakes, shovel my driveway, invest my money, iron my shirts, hassle my wife, straighten my slice, renew my plates, answer my "fan'' mail, write my blog, empty my garbage, explain to my 20-year-old that Failure to Launch was not a documentary, tell my 17-year-old that music doesnt have to peel paint to bring pleasure, suggest to the local parenthood that I'm not Reefer Mad, argue with teachers and administrators over the education of a child and... and... and...
Take Care of me? Just bring me a Guinness and we'll call it even.
posted by Paul Daugherty at 2:00 PM
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Post a Comment*You're one grumpy old fart Daugherty. Maybe you can get the server to go "take care" of your neighbor's street light.
He can't swat your kids, I'm pretty sure that's illegal.:)
Jeez, bad day? Been hanging out on Curnutte's blog?
Most servers are named Mortimer? I did not know that.
Paul,
That may have been the funniest blog post that I have ever read!
Whenever they do that to me (which is most of the time) I immediately respond by doing the polite thing after someone has introduced themselves: I introduce everyone at the table to THEM.
One at a time.
Great blog entry. Perhaps you can respond by saying, "You think I can't read? It says 'Mortimer' right on your name tag!"
I get to take a lot of complaints on servers/waitresses/waiters/managers/attendants/dining room "experiences", et al to help pay for my car, school, general living expenses, etc., and I see what you're saying here to a certain extent. People can get to be picky bastards when it comes to restaurants. I happen to agree with you here though. Usually when that waiter (or whatever adjective you want to stick on he/she) addresses you, they're working for a tip and couldn't give a damn about your mortgage. I will not be pleased if you ever call me up complaining about one of my servers or a dining room "experience", hehe...
What do you suggest he/she say? "Hello my name is Mortimer and I'll be bringing you your food tonight"? I'd venture to guess that had he said that to you, you'd be complaining about that line as well. I'd also guess that you've never had to wait tables either. You realize that while you're sitting down to a relaxing dinner, he/she is the one who is working.
To 955, how 'bout Welcome to --, would you care for something to drink while looking at the menu?'' That's what I said every day for 7 summers, as a waiter at Congressional CC in suburban DC... besides, it was meant as a joke, OK?
Paul, Let me start by saying i know you were just writing a funny blog,but... The only people that are held to a higher standard of behavior then a wait staff in the public's eye are car salesmen. As a salesman I would love to be a fly on the wall after a customer leaves my store. Funny how the general public can be so critical of a job that few do well or even have the guts to attempt for a pro-longed period of time, or at all. As far as working an angle for a better tip..I don't think most big time eatery spots give the wait staff much of a choice in how they approach a table. Lastly if i were to pick a place where I'd like to give a chance to the female wait staff to take care of me it would be any Outback Steakhouse... they put Hooters to shame in the classy,and eye candy that is worth the price of a six dollar big bloke.
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