What's This Dude's Problem?
posted by Paul Daugherty at 7:26 AM
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Paul Daugherty Enquirer columnist files news and observations |
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 Paul Daugherty has been an Enquirer sports columnist since 1994 and has been chronicling Cincinnati sports since 1988. He has covered almost every major sporting event in America, as well as five Summer Olympics. Along the way, he has been named one of the country's top-5 sports columnists four times, and Ohio columnist of the year on seven different occasions. Last year, he was voted 2nd-best sports columnist in the country, by the Associated Press Sports Editors. Previous Posts
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Tuesday, April 29, 2008 |
9 Comments:
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Anonymous said...
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Post a Comment*Equine Viagra?
Uh can you say alternative lifestyle maybe?
He might be the "Q" in LGBTQ.
Where's the challenge? If I had a choice selection just paraded in front of me, I'd pass too..
Riiiggghhhhtttttt!!
put me in, coach
I placed a call to a world renowed expert horse psychologist and speaker, the famous Mr Ed, and here's what he had to say:
"You know, Wilbur, horses are people too. And we have feelings just like you guys. Did anybody ask this dude if he wanted to move to Japan? Sushi and saki...yuck. No self respecting horse would eat that stuff, And the cars are so little we gotta stick our head out the top when we drive. Sure they like baseball, but take it from me, Wilbur, we ain't stupid, it's Aloha Hawaii...or nuthin when we retire. Maybe this dude walks the other side of the street, ya know what I mean. But nobody ever asks what WE want. Who asks us? Huh?? After all, my bro there won the Derby, not the county fair. Show me the dough, baby, then maybe you get the fireworks. We get tired of of the gristmill and the cameras, being money making machines, and quite honestly, the sex just ain't that great. Yo, humans, get a clue, we got feelins' too. Of course, of course."
He went on to say more in the same vein, but it got racy and beligerent, and I'd had enough. I mean I'd forgotten the old maxim, that no one can talk to a horse, of course. Except the famous Mr Ed? I left him still rambling and dreamy eyed about tv in the 60's, saddled with guilt, knowing that in this era of special interests and minority rights, horses have yet to break through the glass ceiling and been seen as more than just mindless sex crazed studs in a field.
It definitely sounds like a severe case of "performance anxiety"
Although I love the fantasy, not sure what my physical reaction would be to being the only male available to Angelina Jolie, Michelle Peiffer, Kate Hudson and a bevy of other beauties who were intent on satisfying their most erotic urges in an open air bedroom with a bunch of Japanese with cameras snapping away.
Of course, maybe the separation from the other stallions is the real problem...
If any of us had been with 70 fillies out of 100's who'd presented themselves, we wouldn't have our friends saying we needed "viagra."
Maybe the fillies all look uglier at closing time.
Doc
He also spends all his spare time watching the 'Bravo' channel, and listens to Broadway show tunes. Need we say more?
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