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Paul Daugherty
Enquirer columnist files news and observations

Paul Daugherty
Paul Daugherty has been an Enquirer sports columnist since 1994 and has been chronicling Cincinnati sports since 1988. He has covered almost every major sporting event in America, as well as five Summer Olympics. Along the way, he has been named one of the country's top-5 sports columnists four times, and Ohio columnist of the year on seven different occasions. Last year, he was voted 2nd-best sports columnist in the country, by the Associated Press Sports Editors.

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Wednesday, December 13, 2006

dumb golf lessons

It was 50 Monday, it's gonna be close to 60 tomorrow and Friday. Global warming? Bring it on, brother. This is the best time of year to play golf. The courses are mostly empty and in great shape. Rates are low. As everyone knows, golf is the world's greatest game.

Except for the tips.
The tips are idiotic.

All that stuff about swing planes and spine tilts. You'd think to break 90, you'd have to be a chiropractor or a contortionist. Every month, the golf magazines offer impossible "help'' for your game. I found a couple classics this month, in Golf mag:

(1) to align your putter, "attach a straw with a big wad of bubble gum to the center of your putterface so it points straight out from the sweet spot. The straw lets you see exactly where you're aimed.'' And makes you like a damned fool.

(2) to hit better chips, "Balance a club on the top of a water bottle and place your club 12 inches behind the middle of the grip. Make your chip stroke without knocking the shaft off the bottle.'' And look like a damned fool.

All of it reminds me of Nicholson's classic diner scene in Five Easy Pieces. To play better golf, play more. If you want tips that make sense and don't make you look like a damned fool, read Hogan's Five Lessons and The Bobby Jones Way, by John Andrisani. And keep your bubble gum where it's supposed to be: Stuck to the leather seats in your car.


6 Comments:

at 12:02 PM Anonymous Anonymous said...

Yeah, golf tips and golf improvement devices. My all time favorite is a device that damn near killed me when I was a teenager. The device consisted of a golf ball connected to an elastic band. I bought it at a sporting goods store here that's no longer in business. The principle was that you could have endless practice in the back yard with no need to shag or worry about broken windows.
So the first time I hit the ball in the back yard with a driver, the ball and elastic band recoiled around my neck seven or eight times and nearly strangled me.
Needless to say, that was before the day of the Consumer Product Safety Commission.

Chip Lapp
Kenwood OH

 
at 4:48 PM Anonymous Anonymous said...

You finally said game, not sport, when referring to golf. You're learning.

 
at 9:24 AM Blogger Chicago PhotoJournal said...

Golf is the most difficult SPORT in history. Tiger Woods is the greatest athlete ever. Period. (If you ask me).

 
at 8:04 AM Anonymous Anonymous said...

jason-when you write "period" after a couple of declarations, you weaken it when you write "if you ask me" immediately afterwards...

love,
your English teacher

 
at 11:11 AM Blogger Chicago PhotoJournal said...

Guess that's why photography always called my name. If you ask me.

 
at 7:55 AM Anonymous Anonymous said...

And Jason, you do quality work at your chosen profession. Especially your sports shots!

love,
your English teacher

 
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